You Should Be Ashamed of Yourself

It has recently come to my attention that some depraved, vile, subhuman has made an unprovoked and vicious threat against my wife’s dear Welsh Corgi.
This is beyond the pall.
If this is some sick attempt at humor, I just don’t get it. And if it is not, I cannot put into words how disgusted and disappointed I am at what has unfortunately now become common public discourse.
The amount of mental anguish my wife feels(and thus I as well, thank you very much) from this sick attempt at intimidation cannot be overestimated. She is quite simply inconsolable. The fear she endures for the life of her fluffy little ankle humper has consumed nearly every aspect of her daily life.
It has gotten so bad, she no longer allows him out of her line of sight. The scruffy, drooling, butt sniffer must now go everywhere that we do.
How would I describe the embarrassment one might feel when said mangy, matted, poor excuse for a canine should decide to empty its bowels in the middle of the busy, Sunday afternoon, parking lot of the neighborhood Bed, Bath and Beyond? Let’s just say, I’d rather not.
So let me state this in no uncertain terms. If any of you self styled canine hit men actually have the courage of your convictions, just know that our charming little Mr. Peepers will not (I repeat, will not) be at the park at the corner of Pine and Main at 8:00 AM on Tuesday wearing a cute red collar around his neck and a pink bow on the tip of his tail.